Even though the federal government has the right to pursue charges against non-Indian offenders, domestic violence cases are low priority. This creates a huge problem for domestic violence committed by non-Indians on reservations. Advocates say it has gotten to the point where many instances of domestic violence on tribal land go unreported.
]]> Take the case of Native American woman who said her non-Indian ex-husband was never arrested after abusing her more than 100 times. It wasn't until he tried to shoot her at her workplace and injured her co-worker that he was arrested and eventually took a plea deal on an aggravated traffic offense.With non-Indians making up about 77 percent of people living on tribal lands, and about 50 percent of Native American women being married to non-Indians, the Justice Department decided to take action. It recommended last July that tribes are given local authority to prosecute non-Indians in misdemeanor domestic and dating violence cases.
Lawmakers thought it made sense to introduce the legislation in the renewal of the Violence Against Women Act this year. However, a new House version of the Act does away with the tribal land provisions.
A spokesperson for the congresswoman who drafted it said there are already laws that deal with non-Indians who commit domestic violence against Native Americans on tribal ground. The woman who was almost killed by her abusive ex-husband would likely disagree.
Source: The Associated Press, "Native American women seek protections from abuse," Suzanne Gamboa, May 14, 2012
]]>Essentially, that's what divorce is -- a journey. Keep these several tips from the article in mind as you embark on your journey and work to rebuild your self-esteem following a divorce:
]]> Let go of the past. Part of gaining back self-esteem following a divorce is accepting your new life, the article said. Instead of holding on to the past and the person you once were, make room for new friends, hobbies, career opportunities and relationships. It's also important to think of the future as a positive beginning for yourself.Surround yourself with the right people. Sometimes, your self-esteem is a direct reflection of the way you are treated by others. Maybe this was even part of the reason for the divorce in the first place. The article said that in order to build self-esteem back up, it's important to be surrounded with positive people who will support you on your journey.
Accept the changes that lie ahead. The article said to embrace the fact that life is full of surprises and changes. Your divorce won't be the only time your life changes, so it's important to accept that change is just part of life. Instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, accept yourself at the present moment.
These are some great tips for regaining self-esteem after a divorce. It may also be helpful to reach out to a support group, private coach, professional counselor or other resources.
Source: Huffington Post, "How to Rebuild Your Self Esteem After Divorce," Rosalind Sedacca, May 15, 2012
]]>Instead of looking ahead to retirement together, divorcing couples are now going their separate ways and being forced into independence after years of togetherness. This is a challenge that comes in many forms, but all are demanding in their own separate ways.
A recent article from the Huffington Post provided a few steps to help secure security and stability following divorce:
]]> 1. Get your finances stabilized and evaluated. This may require working with a financial expert if you have not handled the finances in the past. It's best to be aware and have a plan in place so you know exactly how the divorce settlement will affect your future.2. Get emotional support. Divorce can be an emotional rollercoaster, no matter how ready you are for the marriage to end. After a long marriage, divorce will mean big changes, which are sometimes hard to get used to. Make sure to work through your emotions just like any other aspect of the divorce.
3. Figure out the best divorce method for you. Today, there are several ways to go about getting a divorce. For example, some couples enlist the help of a certified mediator to facilitate negotiations. Also, not all divorce attorneys are alike, so find one who you feel comfortable with.
4. Give yourself time and compassion. If your marriage lasted for decades, don't expect to rush through the divorce in days. You want to take the time to make sure you get what you're entitled to. Other things to remember are self-forgiveness and self-compassion, which will make moving on much easier.
Source: Huffington Post, "Divorce Over 50," MaryEllen Linnehan," May 7, 2012
]]>Under California law, the court can order a higher-earning spouse to help pay the legal fees of a lesser-earning spouse. This is done to "level the playing field" and prevent one spouse being punished for earning less than the other spouse. Although, it's not always easy to determine how the legal fees should be split, especially in complex cases.
]]> Other states have interesting divorce laws as well. For example, courts in Illinois don't take into account the amount of parenting time each parent has with the child when determining child support. In this state, the non-primary residential parent is ordered to pay a fixed percentage of his or her income, regardless of how much time he or she spends with the child.When it comes to property division, California and eight other states follow community property rules while the rest follow equitable distribution rules. Community property states consider almost all assets attained during the marriage to be community property that is split 50-50 upon divorce. Equitable distribution states divide the marital property based on what seems fair and equitable, but it is not always equal.
These are just a few of the ways in which divorce laws vary from state to state. Ask your divorce attorney if there are any interesting divorce laws in your state that you should know about.
Source: Fox Business, "How States Differ on Divorce Laws," Cindy Vanegas, May 7, 2012
]]>The man filed a lawsuit against his ex, accusing her of violating federal wiretap laws. Because the taped conversations involved attorneys, therapists and family members, seven plaintiffs joined the lawsuit against the ex-wife. The case is currently ongoing, but the man said he hopes to reach an out-of-court settlement.
]]> According to the man's attorney, domestic spying is on the rise in California and elsewhere. But many people engaging in the sleuthing don't realize that it could be an invasion of privacy and could potentially constitute a crime. Although, he conceded that the cases are easier to prove in civil court.The attorney said that one former client was awarded $10,000 in damages after he discovered his ex-wife had bugged their child's favorite stuffed bear with spyware. There were six other plaintiffs in that case as well, each of whom were awarded $10,000. The ex-wife was also ordered to pay $75,000 in attorney fees and court costs.
In that civil court decision, the judge wrote that "the device was intentionally designed to record absolutely everything that transpired in the presence of the toy," which was an invasion of privacy against all seven parties involved in the suit.
The attorney said that people often get so caught up in their emotions that they lose sight of boundaries. Another temptation is that spying devices are much less expensive than they once were. Instead of paying a private investigator to do the work, a person can buy spy equipment online for between $200 and $300.
"With technology getting smaller, almost invisible, and the price coming down, it does tend to encourage people," a family law attorney said. "I tell people that it may not be criminal, but you can be sued for invasion of privacy. The bottom line is that if it doesn't feel right, it's probably not right."
Source: Houston Chronicle, "Spy gadgets infiltrate divorces as domestic snooping booms," Mike Tolson, April 29, 2012
]]>The study, which was reviewed by the Police Executive Research Forum, found that 56 percent of the law enforcement agencies surveyed said that the economy is a factor leading to an increase in domestic conflict. In 2010, a similar survey found that only 40 percent agreed with the same statement.
]]> "You are dealing with households in which people have lost jobs or are in fear of losing their jobs," one police chief said. "That is an added stress that can push people to the breaking point."It is true that life's stresses, including unemployment, can result in hostility in the home. Sometimes homes that were once safe can turn abusive as a result of these stresses. However, no matter what the reason for stress may be, domestic violence is never the answer.
People who have experienced an outbreak of domestic violence in their homes should consider filing for a restraining order. Restraining orders can help protect people who face genuine threats or forms of domestic violence, including verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse or sexual abuse.
Along those same lines, people who have been wrongly accused of domestic abuse also face a scary situation. Domestic abuse charges are serious and could impact your parental rights or your ability to secure employment. This is why someone who has been wrongly accused of domestic abuse wants to take the charges very seriously.
Source: USA Today, "Domestic violence rises in sluggish economy, police report," Kevin Johnson, May 1, 2012
]]>The split between the 49-year-old former Yahoo president and her 52-year-old husband, who was once an investment banker, turned salacious over the past few years as allegations of adultery, drug use and spying surfaced. The allegations were made public when a private letter from the husband's attorney to the wife's attorney was leaked to the media.
]]> The wife resigned from her position at Yahoo in 2009 after the company experienced hard times, and according to court documents, the husband quit his job as an investment banker in his 30s when he had approximately $13 million put away in savings. Together, the two reportedly acquired $71 million in real estate, stock, cash and other assets.Included in the couple's real estate properties were the family's five-bedroom Belvedere home, located along the San Francisco Bay, a Laguna Beach condo worth approximately $6 million and two Lake Tahoe condos, each worth about $1 million. None of the properties were subject to a mortgage.
With the help of their attorneys, the couple was able to reach a settlement agreement the day before their case was set to go to trial. However, details of the settlement have not been released. The couple did issue a joint statement saying that they are eager to put this chapter of their lives behind them, and they are ready to work together to raise their three children.
Source: ABC News, "Ex-Yahoo President Settles Divorce After Long Tiff," April 23, 2012
]]>However, three additional methods of divorce have gained in popularity and were discussed in a recent article from Forbes. The first alternative divorce method is the do-it-yourself divorce. As we have discussed in the past, the DIY divorce is not a good idea for most couples seeking to end their marriage.
]]> The Forbes article explained that because of the complex financial and legal implications of divorce, the DIY divorce is best left to couples who have been married for a short time, have no children and have acquired very little in assets. This is because errors are common in DIY divorces and they can be costly.The second alternative divorce method is mediation. Mediation involves a neutral third party who helps the couple reach a settlement agreement by facilitating negotiations. As the Forbes article pointed out, it is possible to use mediation with or without the involvement of attorneys, but it is important for both parties to have the proposed settlement looked over by separate attorneys before it is filed with the court.
The third alternative divorce method is known as collaborative law. In a collaborative divorce, both parties and their attorneys agree to settle the divorce out of court in an amicable and respectful manner. If a settlement cannot be reached, the parties must find new attorneys to represent them in the court process.
The Forbes article recommended the traditional litigation model and discouraged mediation and the collaborative approach in situations where there is domestic abuse or if one party suspects that the other party is hiding assets. For more information on all four methods of divorce, contact a family law attorney in your area.
Source: Forbes, "The Four Divorce Alternatives," Jeff Landers, April 24, 2012
]]>However, some divorces can take longer than that, depending on the details of the case. Take the recent divorce of Dennis Rodman and his former wife, Michelle. It was reported that the divorce became final this week, eight years after his wife first served the former NBA star with a petition to end their marriage.
]]> Of course, this is an extremely rare situation and a California divorce typically takes a fraction of this time. It was said that the divorce lingered on for years because the couple, who has two children together, tried reconciling at least once since Michelle first filed for divorce in 2004, a year after the couple wed.A divorce attorney representing Michelle recently told reporters that she filed for divorce again this year in effort to clarify the relationship to their young son and daughter.
As we reported last month, Rodman recently made headlines after he told a judge that he could not afford to make the child and spousal support payments he has been ordered to pay. Rodman's attorney told the judge that his client is "extremely sick" and "broke," which is why he is behind in child support and spousal support obligations.
Rodman is currently responsible for paying $5,000 per month in child support for a child from another relationship and $4,500 per month in child and spousal support to Michelle.
Source: Fox Sports, "Report: Rodman agrees to end marriage," April 20, 2012
]]>The executive director of a women's shelter in California said that most instances of sexual assault occur to people under the age of 24. She said that one in four females and one in six males will be sexually assaulted at some point during their lives. She also stated that most victims of sexual assault know their attackers, and 60 percent of the crimes go unreported.
]]> Communities around California will be recognizing Sexual Assault Awareness Month by planning special events and peaceful demonstrations. One community has designated April 25 as "Denim Day," during which people are encouraged to wear denim as a form of peaceful protest against sexual assault. It also plans to host a "Take Back the Night" event to pay tribute to sexual assault survivors.People who have been the victims of sexual assault or domestic violence should know that there are ways to stand up to an abuser. People who are facing genuine threats from a significant other, family member, acquaintance or even stranger can file for an order for protection with the court.
An order for protection requires the abuser to stay a specified distance away from the victim at all times. People who violate orders for protection risk being arrested and charged.
Source: KRCRTV.com, "April Marks National Sexual Assault Awareness Month," Chelsea Kay, April 3, 2012
]]>Called the Servicemember Family Protection Act, the bill would bar family court judges from delivering judgments in child custody cases based solely on a servicemember's past or future deployments. Military members -- including parents -- can be sent anywhere in the world at any time during their active duty, inevitably leading to long spans of time away from home.
]]> Currently, family court judges can rule against a servicemember based on these circumstances alone. But the new bill seeks to give these parents the ability to retain primary custody of their children without fully dismissing the issue of active duty from a child custody case.The bill was first introduced in 2008 and has received bipartisan support in the House of Representatives every year since. However, it has failed to gain approval in the Senate each year, largely due to opposition from the U.S. Defense Department, which took the position that the issue should be addressed by the states.
Now the House Armed Services Committee is trying to enlist the support of the new defense secretary. The new defense secretary supported the bill last year, but the endorsement came too late in the legislative session to have a significant impact on Senate voting.
Other measures addressed in the bill include an effort to broaden the definition of a deployment to count unaccompanied overseas tours and humanitarian operations as military deployments.
Source: Military.com, "Law Would Strengthen Troops' Child Custody Rights," Charlie Reed, April 10, 2012
]]>The pair released a joint statement in January when they separated saying that the decision was made "after much soul-searching." They also expressed their continued love and respect for one another following the split. But will this sentiment last now that the divorce is under way?
]]> Even though both parties cited "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for ending their marriage, it appears that there is some discrepancy between what Klum and Seal are asking for in the divorce. According to court papers, Klum has asked for primary physical custody of the couple's four children, while Seal has asked to share joint physical custody.Klum is essentially asking that the children, who are between the ages of 7 and 2, remain in her custody for the majority of the time and Seal is given visitation. On the other hand, Seal is asking that the children spend a more equal amount of time with both parents.
If Klum and Seal are not able to come to a custody agreement on their own through negotiations or mediation, it is possible that a judge will make the decision for them. When a judge makes a custody decision, he or she focuses on the "best interests of the child" standard.
This standard considers each parent's request in light of more than a dozen factors regarding the children's wellbeing. Some of these factors include the relationship the children have with each parent, the current primary caretaker of the children and any special needs the children may have.
Sources: CNN, "Heidi Klum files for divorce from pop star Seal," April 7, 2012, E! Online, "Seal Files His Own Papers in Heidi Klum Divorce," Rebecca MaCatee, April 10, 2012
]]>However, as tempting as it may seem to go through with a "cheap divorce," there are several things every couple should consider beforehand. First, is that a "do-it-yourself" divorce means that you will literally have to do it yourself. This can be quite tricky when it comes to defining marital property and coming up with an effective child custody arrangement.
]]> The second thing people should consider is how the negotiating will go. If you are married to someone with more bargaining power, or someone who is intimidating or abusive, you could end up with an unfair settlement. The primary purpose of a divorce attorney is to make sure you get everything that you're entitled to.The third thing people thinking about a "do-it-yourself" divorce should consider is that without experience, you don't know what to expect down the road. What many people fail to realize is that there are many problems that can arise down the road if all matters are not handled properly. Taxes, insurance, retirement and debt are all important issues that often get overlooked in "cheap divorces," and you may end up paying more to get them resolved later on.
These are all important things to consider before deciding to handle your divorce on your own. For more information, contact an experienced family law attorney in your area.
Source: Centre Daily Times, "The Do-It-Yourself Divorce-Common Issues," Laura Robbins, April 3, 2012
]]>Here are several tips on how to put your best foot forward co-parenting:
1. Commit to having an open dialogue with your ex. When you co-parent, it is important to find a way to communicate effectively and share information with one another, whether it be through emails, phone calls, notes or face-to-face conversation. This way, you both will be kept in the loop.
]]> 2. Agree to common rules at both households. Children benefit from routine and structure, so it is important that both parents have as close to the same rules and schedules as possible. It also prevents one parent becoming the "good parent" and the other becoming the "bad parent," which can create resentment.3. Decide not to criticize you ex or your ex's family. When you say negative things about your ex or his or her family, you are just making things more difficult for your children. Your children, as well, should not be allowed to criticize their other parent, no matter how much you might like to hear it.
4. Keep each other informed. Although your ex is probably the last person you want to confide in, remember that it is important to keep each other up to date so that your children aren't the middlemen between your lives. This way, things don't get misunderstood and taken out of context.
Co-parenting can definitely have its ups and downs, but what parents need to remember is that the children are their No. 1 priority. If both parents can agree to this and follow the tips provided above, co-parenting could end up being a positive experience.
Source: Psychology Today, "The Do's and Don'ts of Co-Parenting Well," Deborah Serani, Psy.D., March 28, 2012
]]>This trend has persisted despite an overall decline in the national divorce rate over the same period of time. And as the divorce rate among the older generation increases, many of these individuals are finding love again and remarrying in their later years.
]]> Getting remarried later in life can bring a lot of happiness, but it also comes with extra complications, particularly regarding the assets each party carries into a new marriage. With retirement in the near future -- or having already arrived -- most individuals need to be protective of how their assets will be handled in a new marriage.The safest route, experts say, involves signing a prenuptial agreement after both parties consult with their own family law attorneys. A prenuptial agreement can help protect the assets of both partners, should the marriage end in death or divorce.
Some people don't enter prenuptial agreements because they are afraid to bring up the issue to their soon-to-be spouse. But the truth of the matter is that the divorce rate for second and subsequent marriages is much higher than it is for first marriages, so a prenuptial agreement is a discussion worth having.
Part of the complications facing a second or third marriage is that the children or extended families may be less likely to accept new members of the family. Experts say that remarrying couples should be prepared for these complications and try to be patient as other family members acclimate to their new family situation.
Source: Fox Business, "Remarrying After 50: Financial Tips Before the Big Day," Casey Dowd, March 22, 2012
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